just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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