My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
