What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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