I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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