How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
