you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
