Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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