i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
did i walk over a car last night?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
