I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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