Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I can't turn off my feet"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
