We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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