did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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