Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
