go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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