It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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