Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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