return my video game
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
