Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
only if we run a train.
done.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the day after is always just damage control
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
