the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
