Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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