The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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