Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
