Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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