so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
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Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
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After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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