and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
