Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
