I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
