He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
