just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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