So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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