Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Enjoy the penises
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
