There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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