The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
