I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
