I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
