We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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