If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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