he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
