so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
