well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize