Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
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Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
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Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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