Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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