Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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