we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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