So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
