There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.