just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"