Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
