Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
In America we eat man semen.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
