Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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