We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
