how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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