you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
