I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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