new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm always down for nudity.
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