I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
