Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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