My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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