I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
