She's JV to your varsity
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
