'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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